Time

 Time, I noticed a couple of blogs ago that the time on my postings were still on Macedonia time, since that is where I started this blog and I hadn't changed my profile, so I started thinking about time.  It looks as if I had been writing most of my blogs in the middle of the night, I wasn't, but my friends in Macedonia were in the middle of their nights.  I find how time changes around the world such a crazy thing.  I remember when Steve and I first started emailing, that wasn't too hard, but when we started to Skype, it was always a do you mean 1PM your time or mine - because if it was 1pm in the US and was 7PM in Skopje, except when we changed our clocks which we did in Macedonia as well but typically there was a week difference, so there was a week in the year we were 5 hours apart and w week at 7 hours apart. It was a challenge some days when one of us was busy, sometimes it was staying up late, or getting up early.  I remember one time doing team training with a team coming from New Mexico - so a 9 hour difference, I got up at 2AM to have that meeting.  

Time changes, its different all around the world, yet we see the same sun and moon.  Time moves at the same pace, yet, for some of us that are grieving, that is hard to reconcile.  Because when our loved one died, it seemed as though the world stopped, well our world did stop,  but everyone else kept moving, and so we spend the next, who knows how long trying to catch up and we can live in a blur, a fog, we can feel hurried and slow at the same time.  There were and even still are days that I feel like I am trudging uphill through thick molasses in January and other days that I may be trying to traverse some quicksand but at the same -time- somehow, we are almost to Easter and soon it will be the 4 month mark of his death.  

Time is a funny thing, we yearn for more of it when we are with the person we love, and then when they are gone, we aren't sure what we want to do with it.  All I can say and encourage, is use the time well that you have with your loved one, you never know when it will be the last moment with them, and then when they are gone, keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep moving, no matter how slow, time is still moving and if you keep going, then it will all align again- sometime.