The unwanted "roommate" 

I have a "roommate" now.  I don't want it, but it's here.  Its name is grief.  I wake up with it here; I do dishes, it is beside me.  I take my shower, and yep, it's there too.  It's an extremely invasive "roommate".  Everywhere I am, it's there too. Some days it lurks and other days it sits heavy wherever I am.  Today is a heavy day, and here is the thing, I have no idea why it is a heavy day.  That's the thing with this "roommate" I know it is always around, but there is no rhyme or reason to how it is going to show up. Will it ever move out?  The simple and the hard answer is NO.  I will always live with this "roomie".  It may eventually take up less space; I may be able to understand it a little more in time, but it will always be around.  I can even move, go on vacation or visit a friend and it will be there.  I am praying for the days when I may be able to ignore it or learn to live with it better, but right now, it is here and I am not a fan.  I like it when I get to choose who I live with, and it didn't ask, it just moved in.  

But surrender is part of my life too, trusting God with every aspect of my life, and so I will trust as I can and learn what He has in this for me.  Many times, when God is working it can be a little exciting to see what He is up to, this time, I am not excited, I just want to get through it - but I know that's not how it works either.  So, I will do what I can to make room for this new "guest" and see what comes - trusting the One who loves me more than anything and has His hands in this whole situation.