It was a rainy day today, fitting as my tears fell as well. Today is Steve's birthday, a first I was dreading. While we never went over the top, we always celebrated because you celebrate someone who didn't know they would see their 1st birthday. So, not making a cake or getting an ice cream cake, or make plans to eat out or do something special was really hard. I truly missed him being here to celebrate.
I made it through church, only shedding a tear while praying for a congregant walking through the last days with her husband. Then after letting the dogs out, I headed to UPMC Montefiore for their yearly memorial service. It was a nice service, a special way to remember him on this day. Then I popped in on one of his friends and family.
Overall, it was an OK day, I cried a lot this week, so maybe I had gotten most of it out before it got here. I am thankful for some of his friends checking in on me and extra hugs from some church folks. I am so fortunate for friends he had and the people in my life. I was also glad for the rain, because just like my tears as they fall, growth happens. The rain helps my grass, flowers and garden grow and the tears help me grow, becoming stronger each day, learning to carry grief and loss a little easier.
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